Still confused? Yeah, me, too. Let me clarify: These were questions I asked in the name of research for my books.
Okay, so here we go.
My List of Suspicious/Illegal/Just Plain Weird Things I've Asked Google In No Particular Order*
1. Best way to break into a house
2. Date rape drug and
how fast it works
3. How long does it take
to die from carbon monoxide poisoning?
4. How to hotwire a car
5. Effects of Nitrous
oxide and how fast it works
6. Guns with longest
range/distance
7. Fastest cars for fast getaways
8. Anthrax
9. How long before a
person dies of starvation?
10. Best places to hit
someone to incapacitate them
11. Parts of a gun
12. Best Poisons to hide
in food/drink
13. Sedatives
14. How long after you’ve
been hit does a black eye show up?
15. How long does a black
eye take to heal?
16. How long would
someone be in a cast for a broken leg/arm?
17. How fast does a tranquilizer
dart work?
18. Has anyone ever
stopped to think about how many times James Earl Jones played characters who
said they were the fathers of the films' heroes? (Okay, that one wasn’t for book
research, but it came into my brain one day and I just really wanted to
know. In case you’re wondering, Google
did not have the answer. At least not a
comprehensive answer. It only came up
with quotes from the two movies that were already on my list.)
19. Death by choking
20. Can a person die from
inhaling the fumes of human excrement for too long?
21. How long before a
person dies from inhaling the fumes of human excrement?
22. Self-mutilation
23. Most popular forms of
self-mutilation
24. Sounds of leg bones
breaking
25. Most efficient way to
dig up a grave
26. How to break through
a window
27. How to correct a
broken nose
28. How to check for
signs of internal bleeding
29. Most commonly
reported side effects of the morning after pill
30. And last but not
least: Beastiality. But before you guys
start getting all judge-y on me, remember what my books are about. Or maybe you don’t know what they’re about
and you’re just reading this post randomly because you stumbled (seriously
randomly) onto this blog. So for those
people, I’ll tell you. The Lone March
series is about weres, as in were-wolves,
were-cats, were-ravens, etcetera and so on.
So that’s people who are also animals and can take one of their forms at
any given time. When you think about
were-people and then you think about relationships, naturally you think next
about were-people in relationships. And to
the common human brain, the word relationship = sex. So were-people sex can get confusing (read:
interesting). I was just curious. Leave me alone.
* This list may be updated
in the future, as I see fit. Or as I see fit to ask Google more strange
questions.
You know, maybe if Google wasn't
so smart I would stop asking questions like this. So really it's Google's
fault. It is Google that has made me this weirdo, not me. I'm
pretty sure Google can be blamed for a lot of scandalous information distribution.
Let's all blame Google!
Oh, wait. Shit.
Google owns Blogger, doesn't it?
Google, please if you could
please not take down my blog, pretty please, that would be awesome.
Thanks.
Also, I love you.
And you are really smart.
And you make me smarter every
day.
Because how else would I learn
the best way to rip out the throat of a person/animal in such a way that
he/she/it will most certainly die but not right away and thus have time for
some extremely painful last moments/parting words to the world? Nowhere
else could I learn this but from you, Google. So, again, thank you.
And also, again, I love
you.
